Author’s Note: While the events outlined in this story actually did happen, and while these events did lead me to have three phone conversations with Whither, I feel I must point out that that roughly 90% of the contents of these conversations have been fabricated so as to properly tell my tale. It’s what you call “dramatic license,” folks.

The place: Vancouver International Airport
The time: Mid-June, 2002

Ring, ring
Continue reading The Last Canadian $10 →

It’s Sunday night. I had a very filling dinner of ramen and curry, but when 9 o’clock rolled around, I was starting to feel hungry. Since it’s just a 5-minute walk away, I went to McDonald’s for a Big Mac. Japanese McDonald’s are amazing places. Firstly, they sell hot dogs. Only here, they call them “frank burgers.” Secondly, don’t want to buy the happy meal to get the toy? Well, you can get it from a vending machine next to the front counter. And all the different hamburgers! There’s the “Mac Star,” which is like a bacon double cheeseburger. There’s the “Bacon and Lettuce Burger,” and that name is pretty self-explanatory. There’s the Teriyaki McBurger, which is a pork patty smothered in teriyaki sauce, and right now, they’re serving this burger with a fried egg on it. Well, not a real fried egg. That imitation fried egg thing that they make Egg McMuffins out of. When my coworkers hear of this fascination, they fear that I’m getting all culture shocked. One of the signs apparently is eating a hell of lot at McDonald’s. But I’m not culture shocked. I just love fast food.
Continue reading Slurp n Burp →

Author’s Note: Your planet, welcome! Here’s the dealie. I watch a lot of TV and make a lot of observations about pop culture. Normally, I e-mail these observations to friends, but every once in a while, I compile these observations and rants into a column. And here’s the latest installment!

Hey Neelix!

Wow! First midnight rambling from Japan! I’ve been trying to keep up to date on movie news and stuff while I’m over here, but for the most part, I’ve been distracted. My main distraction today has come from the classic video game Need For Speed II: SE. You know, I’ve had that game for at least two years, but today I finally figured out, “Hey! If I play this game on knockout mode and win, I unlock tracks! If I play this game in tournament mode and win, I unlock cars!” So, by sitting and playing it all afternoon, I’ve unlocked one track and two cars. I love the track I’ve unlocked. It takes you racing through a Hollywood back-lot. There’s something surreal about racing Ferraris down the Death Star Trench.
Continue reading Midnight Ramblings XXI →

Back in university, nothing made me happier than doing my radio show. One hour a week, I’d get behind the microphone, speak my mind and play my favorite tunes. I originally concocted the name Chaos In A Box for my show. It was my weekly slice of heaven. But, there has been one lasting effect of that show on my life. Whenever I buy a new CD, I quite often find myself thinking, “I can’t wait to play this on the show!” But, there is no more show. It’s just me. But I’m still filled with the desire to share the latest tunes I’ve uncovered. This can be as simple as cranking up the stereo loud enough for the neighbors to hear. At its most severe, I sat down at my parents’ new computer and used their burner to make a mixed CD for Chuck and L. I just want to share my songs.
Continue reading Music →