Losing My Religion

Chaos in Print

Every once in a while, something comes along, and it makes you question your devotion. You look up to the heavens and you ask, “Why? Why have I followed you all these years? Do you even believe in me anymore? Why? Why?” I was recently faced with one of these moments. It was one of these times where I just couldn’t understand going on anymore. I just don’t know why I keep blindly following the same thing, week after week. I’m just fed up. I can’t take it. It’s time for me to stop following Star Trek.

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Movie Review – Shrek 2

Shrek 2

Directed by Andrew Adamson

Starring the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Antonio Banderas, Jennifer Saunders, and Rupert Everett.

Let’s get one thing straight before I begin.  I liked Shrek.  It was a pretty funny movie.  But, I really, really wish that people would just say what it is.  Most people like to hold it up as the brilliant, witty satire of fairy tales.  But, sit down and watch it.  Someone will do something that you see in every fairy tale or animated film, and one of the characters will roll his/her eyes and go, “Oh, like in every fairy tale!  Well, stop that!”  That, folks, is not satire.  That is sarcasm.  Shrek is a sarcastic fairy tale.  But I liked it.  So, when I heard they were doing a sequel, I said, “Oh my.  They really don’t need to make that movie.”  But I went to see it anyway.

Shrek and Fiona are coming home from their honeymoon, and they find that Donkey has been swamp-sitting.  But, before Shrek and Fiona can settle into domestic bliss, a messenger comes.  Fiona has been invited to come home to Far, Far Away so her parents can meet her new husband.  So, it’s off to Far, Far Away for Shrek, Fiona and Donkey.  Naturally, the meeting with the parents doesn’t go so well.  Shrek wasn’t Prince Charming, you see.  Turns out that Fiona’s father cut a deal with Fairy Godmother and Fiona was betrothed to FG’s son, Prince Charming.  So, the king hires Puss in Boots to do away with Shrek and, before you know it, Puss in Boots has sided with Shrek and Donkey, and the three of them are off on a magical quest to try to turn Shrek into Prince Charming.  To say anymore would give away the ending.

The humour in Shrek 2 is the kind that you’ll find on reruns of Family Guy or in my beloved Twisted ToyFare Theatre.  It’s not so much about writing jokes and crafting witty satire as it is about cramming in as many pop culture references as you can.  Don’t get me wrong.  When done right, it can be brilliant parody.  When not done right, it’s just sad.  Shrek 2 is a film where it’s mostly done right.  But after a while, it really doesn’t compensate for, you know, good jokes.  And yes, Antonio Banderas does steal the show as the voice of Puss in Boots.  Too bad all the good scenes are in the commercials.  It was mildly amusing, but ultimately, you got the “Been there, done that” vibe from the film.

2.5 Nibs


Chaos in Print

I am an explorer. I push myself into the unknown to find out more about the world around me. I look to my heroes – Captains Kirk, Picard, and Sisko – for inspiration. Brave explorers all. Venturing out into the final frontier. Seeking out all there is in heaven and Earth. To learn more about the universe around us; to find out more about the human condition; to discover what makes things work so as to further the human race. Being an explorer is one of the noblest professions. I am an explorer.

At least, this is what I kept telling myself as I looked at the wall of dildos.

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Driven to Distraction

Chaos in Print

Must write column…must write column…. Let’s see, what’s in the “Columns to be written” list? That one? No. I need to be in a better mood for that one. How about that one? Too dated. That one? No, it’ll be too long. Must write a column quick. My self-imposed weekly deadline is in 12 hours. Must write a column…. Until inspiration strikes, I think I’ll play Pokémon.

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Meeting Totoro — Part I: Getting There is Half the Fun

Chaos in Print

One of my goals while in Japan was to visit the Studio Ghibli Museum. Studio Ghibli, of course, is the animation studio responsible for such worldwide hits as My Neighbor Totoro, Princess Mononoke, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and the recent winner for Best Animated Picture, Spirited Away. I had read stories online about the Museum, and, after a glowing review from my predecessor, it seemed like something worth checking out. After I had done the research, I learned that it was in a sleepy little suburb of Tokyo called Mitaka. And, I also knew that it was so popular, tickets had to be purchased a month in advance. But where to get the tickets? I went to the Studio Ghibli Museum website, but all of their information in English was for buying tickets from overseas. As was always the case when I needed translation, I called up Mr. Anderson and asked him to translate the needed information for me. Once he finished chiding me for having not learned the katakana alphabet (“My sister learned in one hour, you lazy wanker!” I believe was his exact quote) he told me that they were available from any Lawson’s store. Sadly, he lived far away and could not accompany me to Lawson’s to buy my ticket. There was only one person who lived in Kumagaya who could help me now….

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