Every once in a while, something comes along, and it makes you question your devotion. You look up to the heavens and you ask, “Why? Why have I followed you all these years? Do you even believe in me anymore? Why? Why?” I was recently faced with one of these moments. It was one of these times where I just couldn’t understand going on anymore. I just don’t know why I keep blindly following the same thing, week after week. I’m just fed up. I can’t take it. It’s time for me to stop following Star Trek.

The incident is the season finale of Enterprise. After a season-long battle with the Xindi, it looked as though the starship Enterprise had won the war, with Capt. Archer having made the greatest sacrifice. The Enterprise slid into orbit around Earth, but was greeted with only radio silence. Not only that, but the lunar colony wasn’t there, and all of the orbital stations just vanished. A shuttlepod was sent to the surface to make contact, and the shuttlepod was attacked by…WW2 era fighter planes! We then cut to Nazi Germany, where we find Capt. Archer in a medical tent. One of the Nazi doctors asks a trio of officers if they recognize Archer’s uniform. Officer #1 shakes his head. Officer #2 shakes his head. Officer #3 – a blue-skinned, red-eyed alien – just looks on. To be continued! See you in the fall!

Trekkies all over are saying the same thing: “What the f—k?”

I mean, c’mon! Enterprise actually seemed to be picking up, with the season-long battle with the Xindi (aka “the Xindi arc”), which led to the creation of some very strong supporting characters. I, however, was sceptical of this turnaround. Mainly because, while the supporting characters were interesting, they still ignored developing the show’s leads! I’m not the only one who’s wondering what happened to Ensign Mayweather. He’s the helm officer, the guy who flies the ship. The entire season has gone by, and he’s only had the same line in every episode: “Aye, sir.”

Probably the biggest wasted concept was the MACOs. The Military Action Command Operations, or the “Starfleet Marines.” They made a big deal over introducing their commanding officer – Major Hayes – and then, Hayes was only around for, like, four episodes! He never even got a first name! Hayes showed up, had a few scuffles with Lt. Reed (cuz Reed though Hayes was after his job), then died. His death would have meant something if we, you know, knew him!

I’ve started feeling this way about Star Trek for a long time now; at least since the lacklustre final episode of Deep Space Nine. With Deep Space Nine, they had a brilliant idea: they would end the show with a 9-episode long story arc. Great idea! Only problem was, the climax of the arc was episode 8, so the big two-hour final episode felt very anticlimactic. And then, there was Voyager’s final episode; a wacky, time-travel adventure featuring future Janeway and the Borg. “Oh, look, here’s some fancy Borg technology that can get us home!” “Oh, no! We must destroy it, cripple the Borg, and thus save the Federation!” “I am Admiral Janeway from the future and I can help you do both!” It was one giant case of duex et machina.

And don’t get me started on Star Trek Nemesis. I was in Japan at the time. It came out four months after it came out in Canada! I came out of the theatre and could only think, “I had to wait four extra months for that?”

This actually began all the way back in university. Whenever I walked into another bookstore and saw another book “analyzing the phenomenon” or “telling the untold story,” I’d start to get queasy. It’s become over-merchandised and the market is over-saturated. I remember reading an article about Batman a few years back. The article asked, between the cartoon, the movies, and the merchandise for both, had the market reached its breaking point with Batman? Well, it’s time we ask the same question about Star Trek. Between five shows, ten movies, a cartoon, the theme park in Vegas, and each one merchandised to death, have we reached our breaking point with Star Trek?

Probably the worst thing that ever happened to Star Trek was when Paramount started caring about the fans. When they started caring, they started listening, and when they started listening, they started finding out how to push the fans’ buttons and get more money. The best time to be a Trekkie had to be the 1970s. Paramount didn’t care, and there was only the original series and the cartoon. Back then, being a Trekkie was still very much an underground kind of thing. There was the odd rumour of a movie, or a new show, and that was it! But then, Star Wars came out, Paramount decided to develop Star Trek into THEIR big sci-fi film franchise, and the movies did such big business that they decided to make another TV show, and somewhere in there, Paramount started caring.

I tell ya, it’s enough to make me start watching Babylon 5.

I know that Star Trek has about a billion armchair producers, saying how they’d run the show, and Lord knows I’ve told this to my friends about a billion drunken times, but this is how I’d run Star Trek. When Voyager ended, I would have focused my energies on making the Star Trek movie to end all Star Trek movies. Then, with the movie in theatres, I’d disband the Star Trek production offices and give everyone a ten-year sabbatical. Yup, I’d have pulled the plug a long time ago. I would have given everyone some time off, and the fans a chance to soak in everything.

Sometimes, you have to put something out of its misery. Trust me on this. I just put my dog to sleep.

But do you know what the weird thing is? No matter how much I bitch and complain, I always come back to it. No matter how many times I look to the heavens and scream, “Why?” I always tune in next week. Am I glutton for punishment? No. No matter how bad things get, I just can’t find it in me to forsake the starship Enterprise.