Hello! And welcome to the afterlife! Yes, I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but you are dead. As you are standing here in line, awaiting your final judgement, we hope you’ll take the time to fill out this form. Even we here who run the universe are curious to know how well we’re doing, and we find that this is one of the most effective ways. Don’t worry, it’s completely anonymous. (We know we tell you that He is always watching, but just this once, She won’t look.) If you aren’t carrying a pen or pencil, just ask the angel who gave you this, and he or she will gladly give you one. Have fun and enjoy eternity!

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Don’t know why I gotta go

            But if I don’t try, I’ll never know

• From the song Tryin’ To Get to New Orleans by the Tractors

There’s something different about this column. There’s something different in the way that it’s being prepared. The difference comes in the tool I am using. Gone is my trusty old computer, which has served me well over the past few years. Her successor is a Compaq Presario; a laptop, chosen for its portability. I’m no longer doing this with Corel WordPerfect 7, with the final HTML adjustments done in WordPad. This is coming to you on Microsoft Word XP, with a helpful assist from Microsoft FrontPage XP. It’s even such a sunny day that I’ve left the security and comfort of my basement to write this on the front porch. What then, has happened in my life for such drastic changes to be brought about? Why am I making such extravagant purchases such as newer and more portable, computers? It’s all because of something I’ve alluded to in recent columns, but have yet to take the time to acknowledge formally. I’m going to Japan.

Continue reading Scarecrow Goes to Japan →