Greetings, y’all! ‘Tis I, the Scarecrow, here once again. Before we get to my column, there is just one thing I want to say. Thee are two rooms on campus that I have to say are my genuine favorites. The first one would be the station, and the second would be the Dag office. It’s just a difficult feeling to describe. When you walk into these places, you just look at the decor, smell the air, and you instantly think “Here thar be students.” They are the two places where the student is the complete boss. The cafeteria is close, but the mouth-watering aroma of grey stuff on a shingle kind of overpowers the sensation. The coffee house is OK, but it’s too social. No, the best places on campus are the station and the paper, because there every student feels that sense of belonging.
Greetings, y’all! So, how was your summer? I hope it was as profitable as it was educational. Prepare to blow your savings! For those of you who are first year students, I welcome you to this, the first day of the rest of your lives. You have made a wise choice for your post-secondary education. And for all you returning students, why the hell did you come back!? Haven’t you learned anything yet? Anyways, we are all here.
Well, here it is. April. The end of another semester. The end of another year. The end of another season of “Chaos in a Box with the Scarecrow” (Wed @ 9 on CLCR). Actually, I am glad it is almost over. I find that my normal dreams of frolicking in the sunshine with Commander Dax and the Pink Ranger have quickly been replaced with nightmares of unending papers.
Have you ever had sex with a moose? Well, I have not. I was just stuck for an idea as to how I should start this, and I had a flashback to junior high. My class had just learned the importance of a good thesis statement, and one of my fellow students started his essay with “Have you ever had sex with a moose? Now that I have your attention….” Our teacher warned this student that such a thesis statement would be more memorable than the essay, and he was right. To this day, I remember that statement, but not the essay.