Talkin’ ‘Bout Toons

Chaos in Print

So, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King is out in theatres, bringing to a close one of the most ambitious film projects in recent history. This isn’t the first time that J.R.R. Tolkein’s trilogy has been brought to the silver screen, though. I’m sure most of us have fuzzy memories of watching the 1978 animated version, titled simply The Lord of the Rings. It’s not a true adaptation, though, as it ends about halfway through The Two Towers. But still, it seemed to ride on the wave of independent, adult-oriented animation that sprung up in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

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Take a Bath

Chaos in Print

Author’s Note: I’ve read quite a few books where, at the end, the author lists the music they listened to when they wrote the book, to help figure out what mindset is right for the book. Well, thanks to this new laptop, I can do better. I’ve got my DVD-ROM set up so I can watch a movie in bottom left corner of my screen while I type this. So, to help put you in the right mindset for reading this column, I think I should tell you that I’m watching Shrek as I write this.

My favourite Christmas story has to be the tale of Archimedes. You see, Archimedes was one of the great original Greek mathematicians. One day, the king of Greece called Archimedes to his court and had a very special task in store. The king wanted to know exactly how much gold was in his crown. Now, back in these times, the way to determine the volume of gold in a funny-shaped object was easy: melt it down into a shape that you can easily determine the volume of, like a sphere or a cube. Naturally, the king balked off at this. “You’re not messing with my crown, Archimedes,” I believe was the king’s exact quote. So, Archimedes had a real brain-teaser of a math problem on his hands. He locked himself in his workshop, hunched over his work table and began working on the problem. Several days went by, and Archimedes was making no headway at all. Finally, his wife came into the workshop. “Dear, you’ve been working yourself sick on this,” she said. “Why don’t you relax? I got a nice warm bath all ready for you.” Archimedes thought this was a good idea, and headed off to the tub. As he climbed into the tub and got comfy, he noticed something odd. When he got in, the water level rose. He thought about this for a while, and eventually saw the relationship: the water level rose by the exact same amount as his volume. He discovered displacement. He discovered a way to measure the volume of the king’s crown. He was so excited, that he jumped out of the tub and ran down to the palace, screaming, “Eureka!” the whole way.

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Arthur’s Destiny

Chaos in Print

Author’s Note: You can tell it’s that time of the year. I’ve been so busy frantically studying for finals, that I’ve got nothing written! So, for this week, you’re going to get the introductory section for my final report in Radio Concepts. This is essentially a “why I want to be in radio” kind of thing. I kind of liked it, so you’re getting it as a column this week. If you want to read the whole thing, just e-mail me and I’ll send it to you.

“Destiny dressed you this morning, and now Fear is trying to take off your pants, and if you don’t fight back, you’re going to be standing there naked with Fear pointing and laughing at your dangling unmentionables.”

Ever since I came to NAIT this fall, my mind has been dominated by one thought as I studied the arts of broadcasting: I am too old for this. Let’s be honest. I am 26 years old and well-educated. What the hell am I doing squandering what little savings I made in my last job and turning around and going back to school? Why aren’t I at a good job? How come I’m not married? How come I’m not working on the 2.3 kids? What has driven me to move back in with my parents, squander what little money I made in tuition at my last job, and do the whole post-secondary education thing all over again? For a career in radio, for God’s sake? I mean, lesson 1 in this class has been, “The money’s horrible.”

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The One With the Astro Boy Sticker

Chaos in Print

I’m writing this on my brand new Toshiba laptop. How I finally got this machine was a long, meandering odyssey. But I still have a place in my heart for my old laptop. When I was in Japan, I loved eating all kinds of novelty snack cakes. Some of them came with stickers, and I would up sticking them all over my laptop. Right on the cover, I had an Astro Boy sticker. But, I don’t know if that sticker was cursed or what. It seems that, once that sticker was stuck on, my old laptop was doomed. It all began nine months ago….

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How to Make the Workplace A Better Place (Idea #1)

Chaos in Print

I’m sure most of the people reading this have spent their time in minimum wage hell. If not, then I’m sure you’ve had to work some other job that you equally hate. My time in minimum wage hell, as I’m sure you all know, was spent at Extra Foods, and while there, I started thinking of ways that things could be made better for the employees. One of my brilliant ideas had to do with reprimands.

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