Whatever happened to the sense of community? That feeling you get when you are with a group of your peers, and you can just sit back and let it all hang out? The kind where you could walk into a room and know that these people are cut from the same cloth; that you can talk about any subject and know that they are as equally well versed? Well, I’ll tell you what happened. Like all of the good and decent emotions in the world, it’s been co-opted by the big companies in an effort to turn you, you, and yes, even you, into another corporate drone and/or loyal customer. I’ve come to this heart-breaking realization twice recently.

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Author’s Note: OK, last time I attempted something like this, it went over well, but again, I feel I must warn you. While the events outlined did take place, and it led me to make a phone call, only about 5% of this transcribed phone call actually happened. The rest is made-up so as better to tell my day of adventure. It’s called dramatic license, folks, and I’m sure you don’t find it in your average online journal.

Ring, ring

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Introduction: OK, I’ve been doing some reading online about The Polar Express. It’s the new film from Robert Zemeckis, who gave us Forrest Gump, Cast Away, Contact, and the Back to the Future trilogy. This new film is a family fantasy about some kids on a train bound for the North Pole to meet Santa Claus. Tom Hanks plays the conductor of this train. Now, Zemeckis, he likes to push the limits of moviemaking technology. As I’m sure you’re aware, George Lucas has really pioneered the technique of filming in front of a blue screen, with the sets to be filled in later. Zemeckis is taking this to the next level. He, too, is going to be filming this film completely in front of blue screen, with the sets to be filled in later. But, to assist the animators making the sets, all of the actors will be wearing motion capture suits. The costumes themselves will also be added later with computers. So, Zemeckis will be filming people in blue suits in front of blue screens, with the rest to be filled in later by computer. This just strikes me as odd, somewhat. So, please, come with me as I try to paint the future of Hollywood….

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Fudge Report. I’m Patrick Fudge, and now I’m going to bring you all the news you need to know from Hollywood.

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One of the more difficult things that faces me about life in Japan is that seasonal ritual of getting a haircut. See, I like to get my hair cut freakishly short so that way I can go a good four months without needing a trim. I’ve considered shaving my head, or getting a buzz cut, but usually decide against it for two reasons. Firstly, there’s my sister’s constant taunt: “I’ll laugh if it never grows back.” Secondly, there’s the design of my face. Between my extremely large forehead and my “we-can-get-these-for-free-on-Dad’s-health-plan” geek glasses, a bald head would make me look like some form of cartoon supervillain. So, I at least need a little hair to cover my forehead. Back home, this would pose no problem, but here in Japan, where I face the language barrier at the barber shop, going for a haircut is twice as paranoia-inducing as anything I’ve ever done.

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