Ah, Monday. How I used to dread that day. But, ever since I got my job in Japan, I find that my internal clock has just been shot to hell. My work week runs Tuesday through Saturday, so my weekend is Sunday and Monday. What most people call Monday is really Sunday to me. What most people call Sunday is really Saturday to me. I live a parallel universe, in which time is just slightly out of synch with the known universe.

I tumbled out of bed this Monday morning at 11 AM. There was a time when I would have been up with the sun at 7, but like I said, employment with this company has shot my internal clock to hell. I threw open my curtains, and began pondering what to do with my day. I saw my pile of outgoing mail, and knew that I should make a trip to the post office to mail it. I scanned my cupboards to see that I was out of milk and my bread was turning green. Post office and grocery store. I had made a “to do” list.

It was still a day off, though, and I wanted to do something fun. I was still feeling a bit of a natural high having successfully made my first excursion into Tokyo the previous day, so I was still in the mood for something adventurous. Pokémon 5 was still running in theaters. I was tempted to see it, but wary of doing so. It would all be in the original Japanese, of course, so I wouldn’t be able to follow the plot. But still, it was the latest Pokémon movie, and, thanks to a trip to Tokyo, I was feeling gutsy enough to see it. My plan was modified to be this: stop at the post office and mail my letters. Go to Saty, see Pokémon 5, and pick up my bread and milk in Saty’s grocery department after the film. The plan was set. I got dressed, had brunch, and was on the road by noon.

My apartment in Kumagaya is about 10 minutes from everything vital, so it was just a 10 minute walk to the post office. I got through the line at the post office and mailed my letters and postcards without a hitch. I hope my Tante Hedwig in Germany likes her first postcard from Japan. Leaving the post office, I set out for Saty. Sadly, department stores/malls with movie theaters aren’t vital, and it’s at least a half-an-hour walk to Saty. I set out on foot through the scorching sun. I found out later that the mercury hit 35 degrees that day.

When I walk that far through the blazing sun, Saty’s air conditioning always hits me like a snowball. The cold air stung my lungs as I readjusted to a cooler climate. I started walking up the stairs to the movie theater, so I could find out when Pokémon 5 was playing and plan the rest of my afternoon accordingly. I got to the theater, and began scanning over the movie listings. Pokémon 5 was only playing three times that afternoon: 1:15, 3:30. and 9:15. I looked at my watch to see it was 1:30. Damn, I cursed to myself. I missed it by 15 minutes. The next showing was at 3:30. I began to wonder how exactly could I kill two hours?

I didn’t want to kill it by hanging around at Saty. I had seen every inch of that complex, and I was ready for something new. I had heard vague rumors that this was the section of town that Toys R Us lay in. I hadn’t done much exploring beyond Saty. It was the marker of the eastern border to me, with nothing but the vast unknown on the other side. I decided to explore the vast unknown. What lies to the east of Saty? Only one way to find out. I stopped at the Pizza Viking, the wonderful little pizza kiosk in Saty’s food court, and ate three slices of pizza. A man can’t explore the vast unknown on an empty stomach now, can he? Enjoying the last few minutes of the air conditioned oasis, I went back out into the heat, and set my course for due east.

I began walking down the street. There were more of the usual crowded streets in amongst Saty, and nothing was really catching my eye. I went on and on and on and was finding nothing of interest. I had walked for about 15 minutes when I passed a pedestrian overpass. The overpass was obscuring a sign. I looked up at it, and my jaw dropped. The sign was in katakana, but there was no mistaking the smiling giraffe mascot. It was Geoffrey the Giraffe, the worldwide logo of Toys R Us. There was also no mistaking the large arrow giving directions, and the metric measurement: 2.7 km. This was the first concrete evidence that I had seen for Toys R Us. No more vague directions from my coworkers. It was here, and Geoffrey was smiling at me like Eve holding the apple.

I looked back towards Saty. I looked back towards the familiar, the known, and Pokémon 5 at 3:30. I looked back up at the sign. The first concrete evidence I had seen so far of Toys R Us. 2.7 km isn’t that far. I’d walk that much on warm days back home. I looked back up at the sign. The arrow’s directions seemed simple enough. Straight ahead, take the next right, and keep going. If I went to Toys R Us, I could very well find a promised land, full of the hottest imports they make me pay an arm and a leg for back home. I looked back towards Saty. I probably wouldn’t make it back in time for the movie. 2.7 km. Saty to the west. Toys R Us to the east. I took a deep breath. I laced up my shoes. I resumed my course due east.

The sun was beating down on me as I walked along the sidewalk. The occasional bus would generate enough of a breeze to cool me down. Oh, why didn’t I just take the bus? I had been told which bus I had to take to get to Toys R Us. The only thing that kept me from taking the bus was the fact that I wasn’t too clear on which stop I had to get off at. That, and, the person who told me had peppered his directions with “I thinks.” That didn’t give me a lot of confidence in his directions. I marched forward.

I soon came to a set of lights. This had to be it! This had to be my right turn! My pace quickened with the knowledge that I was ever so much closer! But…no. The set of lights was not my intersection. It was simply a turn into some large brick building. It looked like a government building. My destination still lay over the horizon.

I kept walking. The crowded little stores were thinning out. I was entering a residential area. I was flanked on each side by homes, their fences crowding the sidewalk and pushing me even closer to the highway. Another set of lights soon appeared ahead. This had to be it. This had to be my turn. I paused for a moment at that intersection to look around. It appeared to be the crossing of two major streets. I looked further to the east. There were lots of businesses crowded together. I looked north, which was the turn I had to take. Things thinned out along that street, and there wasn’t much. Was this really my turn? I was starting to doubt the sign. At this moment, a large group of children came up and headed along the north route. That cleared up most of the confusion. A large group of children just had to be going to the toy store. I chose the north route and continued walking.

It wasn’t long before the north route gently turned and I was again heading east. This section of town was a lot more spacious than what I knew. I had gotten a long ways from downtown. There were actually spaces between buildings and patches of grass here and there. I soon crossed a bridge over a rice paddy. I took a deep breath of the fresh country air and smelled something I hadn’t smelled in over a month: a farm. I kept marching on.

My legs were starting to give out. I had been walking for so long. Surely, it must have been 2.7 km. But, there was no Toys R Us in sight. I passed a bus stop, and saw another pedestrian overpass up ahead. I formulated a plan. When I got to that pedestrian overpass, I would climb to its top and scout the route ahead. If I could see Toys R Us, I’d press forward. If I couldn’t, I’d turn back. When I got to the overpass, I saw that there was a 7-11 in its shadow, so I thought I’d stop in and get a drink first. I bought a bottle of Calpis and the clerk tried to push a corn dog on me. But I was just thirsty. I went back outside and climbed to the top of that overpass. I looked ahead to the east. I saw a few more stores, a KFC, and then a car overpass blocked my view of everything beyond. I briefly considered going further to see what was beyond that car overpass, but I decided against it. It wasn’t here. I must have taken a wrong turn. I climbed down from the overpass, and began the long walk back.

The walk back always seems to go quicker, and soon I was back at that intersection. I looked back towards Saty. I looked further down the road. What if my right turn was further down this road? I looked at my watch. It was 3 PM. I wouldn’t make it back in time for Pokémon 5, anyway. I again turned east and began walking.

And I walked.

And I walked.

And I walked.

There were nothing but small stores and gas stations that blended together. Distance began to lose meaning. I just kept walking and walking. I didn’t know why, but all I knew was that I had to keep walking. And so I walked some more. My feet began to protest. After all these weeks, they are still not used to walking kilometer after kilometer on hard old cement. I glanced at my watch. It was 4 PM. I had been marching in this direction for over an hour, and had not found Toys R Us. This was even farther than I had walked down the other road, and I had found nothing. Not even a second right turn! I began to head back, and the first thing I saw was a billboard. “Saty. 4 km.” I had walked four kilometers. I knew for certain, now, that I had overshot Toys R Us.

An hour later, I was back at the intersection. 5 PM. I looked back down the road I had taken earlier; the road I had deemed the wrong one. I had not destroyed my Monday afternoon and missed Pokémon 5 to go home empty handed. It must be down that road. So, I walked down the road that, two hours earlier, I had deemed to be the wrong one.

I continued my march until I got to the bus stop. I again saw the pedestrian overpass up ahead. I took a second look at that bus stop. The person who had told me which bus to get on to go to Toys R Us said that it was a 10 minute walk from the bus stop. What if this is that bus stop? I pulled my cellular phone out of my pocket, and set the countdown timer for 10 minutes. I was getting tired. I was getting exhausted. I would continue in this direction for 10 more minutes, and if I didn’t find Toys R Us, I was heading home. I pressed the button, and the countdown began. I continued my final walk.

I passed the 7-11. I soon came up to the KFC, and passed it. Now, the only thing blocking my view was that damned car overpass. I waited for the light to change. I crossed the intersection. I walked under the overpass.

The first thing on the other side of the overpass was a large colored sign, saying clearly in English, “Toys R Us.” I pulled my cellular phone out of my pocket. If I had just walked for 7 more minutes down that road the first time…. I stopped the countdown. I turned on my phone’s digital camera, and snapped a picture of the sign. I e-mailed it to Chuck right away with the simple message, “Found it. Hail to the king, baby.” My watch said 5:30. It had taken me 4.5 hours.

I stepped inside and enjoyed the air conditioning. It turns out that the whole building wasn’t a Toys R Us. It was a mall, and Toys R Us was on the second floor. I rode the escalator, and entered. I was home again. Just like the last time I went to Toys R Us in Edmonton, the first thing that greeted me was a myriad of Episode II toys. Chuck had told me to keep my eyes open for a purple lightsaber for L, but this Toys R Us had none. I browsed through the video games. For the first time, I saw the never-released-in-North-America Pokémon green edition. If I had a VCR, I could have bought Pokémon 4 on video. But I knew why I wanted to come to Toys R Us. I found my way to the action figure aisle.

My first thoughts went to what I should buy to send to my anime loving friends back home. Trouble would probably be happy with a Sailor Moon figure. For a farewell present, Streiff had given me a Robotech Veritech fighter, so maybe a Veritech for a Veritech. But, no. I figured that could wait until next payday. I felt like treating myself. What could I get for me? I gazed at the Tron and Nightmare Before Christmas Kubricks that ToyFare always raved about. Those Kubricks did look cool, but my gaze soon found what I really wanted: Transformers.

ToyFare had mentioned these new Transformers in Japan. Rather than transform, these were nothing but kick-ass action figures of the Optimus Prime and Megatron we all knew and loved, perfectly tweaked to match their robot forms on the classic cartoon. I found them. There was one Optimus left. It was destiny. I grabbed Optimus and I grabbed Megatron. I came, I saw, I conquered.

I left the store feeling very satisfied. I also left feeling very hungry. I looked at my watch and saw it was a quarter to 7. I decided to head up to KFC and have a Twister combo. I had eaten at enough fast food places that I had learned that “seto” is what you say when you want the combo meal. So, I went into KFC, pointed to the picture of the Twister combo, and said, “seto, onigashmas.” (Someone had told me that “onigashmas” is “please”) The clerk punched the buttons on the cash register, I paid, and then the clerk said something in Japanese and pointed towards the tables. I had eaten in enough fast food places to know that gesture. She was saying, “Please, have a seat, and I will bring it to you when it’s ready.”

I went to the tables on the upper level and sat down. I took Optimus Prime and Megatron out of the bag, whipped out my cellular phone/camera, and snapped a picture of them for Chuck. There was something…different about this restaurant. Something that had made it different from most of the others I had been to in Japan. I started humming along to the Alan Jackson song playing over the restaurant’s stereo, and that’s when it occurred to me. I was listening to Alan Jackson! This was the first time since I had been to Japan that I was hearing country music.

The clerk soon brought me my Twister combo, and I began to feast. I was eating KFC, listening to country music on the restaurant’s radio, and I had a bag full of goodies from Toys R Us. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was in Spruce Grove, after a successful day in Edmonton. The only reminder that I was in Japan was when I looked out the window and saw the cars driving on the left-hand side of the road. I finished my dinner and left.

I as I began the walk back, I thought to myself, I’ve done too much damn walking today. It was time for one last adventure. I stopped at the bus stop. I think I’ll take the bus back, I decided. I stood and began my wait. An echo of a memory drifted through my head. Something about a play and two people waiting for a bus. It wasn’t a long wait, only about 20 minutes. The doors opened, and I stepped on.

I hadn’t ridden busses very often in my life, but this one immediately struck me as odd. Firstly, I got on through the back door. Secondly, I didn’t have to give anyone any money. I just sat down, and the bus drove away. I started fearing that I did something wrong. When the bus stopped at the next stop, I watched the next group of people get on to see if I did something wrong. This new batch of riders stepped onto the bus, reached to a ticket machine, and grabbed a ticket. This machine was right next to the back door, and I had missed it. I started panicking as to what would happen to me when it was time to get off.

I soon saw the station on the horizon, and knew that that was where I was getting off. The bus came to a halt. I hung back for a bit, wanting to be the last one to get off. This way, there would be less witnesses to the scene I was about to cause. I slowly walked up to the bus driver, and prayed that Japanese people were as friendly as everyone said. I placed my money in the slot that I saw others putting money in to. The bus driver then asked me a question. I’m fairly certain it was, “Hey! Where’s your ticket?” I put on my best confused face and tried to show that I didn’t have one. The bus driver then turned back to some of the other passengers and started asking questions. My best guess is that he was asking, “Did any of you see where this guy got on?” Finally, when the driver got an answer that satisfied him, he motioned for me to hold out my hand. I held out the mass of coins that I was still holding. It turns out the slot that I had put my money in was a change machine. The driver plucked some coins from my hand and placed them in a second slot. He then motioned that I could leave the bus. Not as bad as I thought it would have been.

I made a quick stop at the Internet café to check my e-mail. There was nothing worthwhile. I began my long walk home, when I remembered something vital. One of my main reasons for my excursion that day was to get some milk and bread, and I had completely missed all the grocery stores. Luckily, there is a convenience store not to far from my home, so I stopped in and picked up some milk and bread. All in all, not a bad day.

I went home that night, and flopped down on my bed with a sigh of relief. I had done far too much walking that day. I glanced at my watch to see it was 9 PM. A simple run to mail some letters and get some groceries had quickly become so much more. I crawled into bed. The next day was Tuesday. Oh, how I hated Tuesday. The start of the work week. The end of the enjoyment. If only it could be Monday forever….

There’s a little epilogue to my tale of sadness. I have not had any sushi since my training session and its next-door sushi place. I have been scouring for one of those sushi restaurants where everything comes by on a conveyer belt and you can just grab what you, but I just haven’t found one. As I recounted this tale to my coworkers on Tuesday morning, they told me that the best conveyer-belt-sushi-place in Kumagaya was on my walk, and I probably walked right past it. Something tells me I will be going past Saty once again in the near future.