Greetings, y’all! So, how was your summer? I hope it was as profitable as it was educational. Prepare to blow your savings! For those of you who are first year students, I welcome you to this, the first day of the rest of your lives. You have made a wise choice for your post-secondary education. And for all you returning students, why the hell did you come back!? Haven’t you learned anything yet? Anyways, we are all here.
Well, here it is. April. The end of another semester. The end of another year. The end of another season of “Chaos in a Box with the Scarecrow” (Wed @ 9 on CLCR). Actually, I am glad it is almost over. I find that my normal dreams of frolicking in the sunshine with Commander Dax and the Pink Ranger have quickly been replaced with nightmares of unending papers.
Have you ever had sex with a moose? Well, I have not. I was just stuck for an idea as to how I should start this, and I had a flashback to junior high. My class had just learned the importance of a good thesis statement, and one of my fellow students started his essay with “Have you ever had sex with a moose? Now that I have your attention….” Our teacher warned this student that such a thesis statement would be more memorable than the essay, and he was right. To this day, I remember that statement, but not the essay.