Jungle Cruise

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramirez, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons, and Paul Giamatti

Backstory

Ever since Disney had a hit with Pirates of the Caribbean, they’ve been trying to get lighting to strike twice with turning their theme park rides into movies. And it seems like they’ve been trying to get Jungle Cruise off the ground ever since. At one point, Tom Hanks and Tim Allen were attached, in the first live-action teaming of the Toy Story stars. But that fell apart. It finally took the star power of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to get it off the ground. It was supposed to come out last year, but like a lot of other films, got pushed back because of COVID. It’s finally here…was it worth it?

Plot

It’s the 1910s. World War I is raging. Adventurer Lily Houghton is on the search for the Tears of the Moon…a near-mythical flower whose petals have mystic healing properties. With a magic map in hand, Lily learns it’s somewhere up the Amazon River. With her brother McGregor by her side, they’re off to the Amazon! They charter a boat from gruff and world-weary Skipper Frank Wolff. Frank isn’t so sure about their mission, because it’s a tough river ahead. But it turns out Frank has own motives for taking them on the cruise. It’s a treacherous journey indeed, as they must sail over the rapids, outrun a sadistic German general in a submarine, and are hunted by undead conquistadors. Will they find the Tears of the Moon and survive this jungle cruise?

What I Liked

Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt are an adorable duo, just filled with charisma. James Newton Howard delivers an amazing score. There is a pretty good plot twist about halfway through that I thought was pretty great. And the undead conquistadors have some really unique powers. One is essentially a living beehive and commands an army of bees. And it’s cute seeing how they incorporate some aspects of the ride.

What I Didn’t Like

Deciding that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” Disney decided to borrow a lot of what made the first Pirates of the Caribbean so memorable. And once they start throwing in the more supernatural elements, it feels kinda like Pirates of the Jungle.

Final Verdict

Jungle Cruise was fun, yet familiar. You’ll probably have a good time.

3 Nibs

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

Directed by Robert Schwentke

Starring Henry Golding, Andrew Koji, Ursula Corbero, Samara Weaving, Iko Uwais, Haruke Abe, Takehiro Hira, and Peter Mensah

Backstory

Why can’t Hasbro and Paramount figure out what to do for a G.I. Joe movie? Larry Hama created such a rich history for these characters in his comic, and they seem to be running on all cylinders with Transformers. But 2009’s The Rise of Cobra was good but not great, and the 2013 sequel Retaliation couldn’t even be elevated with the star power of Dwayne Johnson as fan favourite Roadblock. So, Hasbro and Paramount decided to do for G.I. Joe what they did with Transformers: a prequel-slash-reboot focusing on the origins of one of the franchise’s most popular characters. And for G.I. Joe, that would be the always silent, always masked ninja Snake Eyes. But a prequel where he’s not masked and talks? How will this fare?

Plot

Ever since he saw his father murdered before his eyes, the nameless man known only as Snake Eyes has had only one thing on his mind: revenge. One day, he’s approached by the Yakuza and hired for a dangerous mission: infiltrate an ancient ninja clan known as the Arishikage. If Snake Eyes can do this, the Yakuza will deliver the killer of Snake Eyes’ father to him. Snake Eyes does this by warming up to Tommy Arishikage, the one destined to lead the clan someday. He also begins getting close to Akiko, the clan’s head of security. But the closer Snake Eyes gets, the more he finds his loyalties divided, especially when he learns that the Yakuza are working with Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world. With the Arishikage calling on the G.I. Joe known as Scarlett for help, Snake Eyes has to choose: will he avenge his father, or align himself with his newfound family?

What I Liked

The cast is certainly game. Henry Golding gives it his all as Snake Eyes, and Andrew Koji has wonderful smoldering intensity as Tommy, the man who will become Storm Shadow. The film looks great as well, taking place mostly in a neon-lit Tokyo. Think Hawkeye’s introduction in Avengers: Endgame, but for an entire film.

What I Didn’t Like

Samara Weaving is great as Scarlett, but it’s pretty much just a glorified cameo. The plot gets kind of muddled in the middle. It’s like someone went, “Wait a minute…this is a comic book movie!” and they figured they had to add more fantastical elements. Character motivations start getting clouded in order to compensate. And I’m really nitpicking now, but in some scenes, Henry Golding kind of forgets to do his American accent and his natural British accent comes through.

Final Verdict

I found Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins to be somewhat underwhelming. I keep holding out hope for a great G.I. Joe film, but sadly, this isn’t it.

2.5 Nibs

Black Widow

Directed by Cate Shortland

Starring Scarlett Johansson, Florence Pugh, David Harbour, O-T Fagbenle, William Hurt, Ray Winstone, and Rachel Weisz

Backstory

Marvel Studios is finally back! Well, that seems a little disingenuous to say. They’ve been doing pretty well on Disney+ with WandaVision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and Loki. It’s more accurate to say they’re back on the big screen. Black Widow got screwed around with quite a bit because of COVID. Originally supposed to come out in May of 2020, but the closure of movie theatres saw it get pushed back and pushed back. Finally, Disney decided to give it one of their hybrid releases. If movie theatres are open in your part of the world, you can go down to the theatre and see it. If they’re not open, or you’re not comfortable going out just yet, you can drop $30 ($35 CDN) to see it on Disney+. Plus, throw in the fact that it’s Black Widow. The fans have been clamoring for a Black Widow solo film ever since Scarlett Johansson made her debut as the character in Iron Man 2. It’s been a long road for Black Widow to get here…was it worth the wait?

Plot

Taking place in the months immediately after Captain America: Civil War, we find Natasha Romanoff living in hiding, officially on the run for being on Team Cap. As she prepares for a life of self-isolation, she soon receives a mysterious package. It turns out that the Red Room — the sinister former Soviet spy agency that trained her — is still very much active. Natasha’s sister Yelena, also a Black Widow recruit, has finally escaped from the organization, and wants Natasha’s help to bring it down once and for all. But they’re going to need help. First they call on Red Guardian, the Soviet Union’s answer to Captain America and their surrogate father. Then they call on Melina, their surrogate mother and one of the original Black Widows. But the Red Room’s got allies of their own, namely a deadly assassin known as the Taskmaster, who can learn any fighting style just by watching someone. Will this family reunion finally be able to bring down the Red Room?

What I Liked

This film is a lot grittier than most Marvel films. It’s also a lot more grounded, too. We see the bruises that Natasha accumulates and are reminded that she’s not really a superhero…just a highly trained spy. And that leads into the main thrust of the plot. This is very much Natasha’s redemption story. We’ve been hearing about that red in her leger since The Avengers, but now we finally see how it’s affected her life and her family relationships. The new characters are fun, too. Florence Pugh is great as Yelena, as she and Natasha instantly have a bickering sisterly relationship. David Harbour is also great as Red Guardian, bringing equal parts humour and pathos as the retired supersoldier who longs for his glory days, but for his final act, just wants to do right by his daughters. And we’ve also got the stuff that Marvel has down to a science at this point. The characters got their appropriate quips, and the action scenes are pretty good.

What I Didn’t Like

Speaking of stuff that Marvel is good at, “under-developing their villains” remains high on the list. We really don’t get a chance to know the sinister forces in charge of the Red Room or what their motivations are. And after some truly spectacular music scores as of late, Black Widow goes back to having some music that’s kind of generic.

Final Verdict

A friend asked if it was a gritty spy thriller like Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but honestly? It reminded me a lot of Ant-Man: with the main thrust being characters and family relationships, the stakes feel smaller. But this deep dive into Black Widow was long overdue. It may not fill you up, but it definitely leaves you satisfied.

3 Nibs