300

Directed by Zack Snyder

Starring Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham and Rodrigo Santoro.

Backstory

The historical epic is one aspect of geek films that I’ve never been able to get passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen Gladiator and Braveheart and thought them to be very fine films…they just don’t inspire my soul and I don’t quote the dialogue for months after. However, I’ve always been a sucker for movies based on comic books. And now, we have a historical epic based on a comic book, all in the same insane style as Sin City, another movie I loved. Do we finally have a historical epic that gets me excited?

Plot

Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear known as Ancient Greece. The mighty warrior society of Sparta is enjoying life, and then, a messenger from the Persians arrive. Seems that Persia’s out to conquer the world, and Sparta and the rest of Greece are next on the map. Of course, King Leonidas, ruler of the Spartans, will submit to no conqueror. But, after a consultation with the priests, he’s forbidden to wage war. What’s a warrior king to do? Well, in this case, he gathers together 300 of his mightiest warriors, and then, with these 300 “bodyguards,” goes on a nice, long walk…that’ll take him to meet the Persians. It’s then up to Leonidas and his 300 to hold off the Persian hordes while the rest of Greece gets its act together.

What I Liked

Oh, Frank Miller. What a wacky guy! All the excess we loved in Sin City, like the gore and the over-the-top dialogue, are still here. And I mean that in a good way. Director Zack Snyder had done an amazing job translating this graphic novel to the big screen.

What I Didn’t Like

And, just like Sin City, I find the digital sets to be a little distracting sometime. And, as much as I love the Frank Miller over-the-top-ness, I do find it crosses into ridiculous sometimes.

Final Assessment

I still feel no passion for historical epics, although I think calling this a “historical epic” is a bit of a stretch. It’s good, but I fail to see what the rest of the world is getting worked up over.

3 Nibs

TMNT

Directed by Kevin Munroe

Starring the voices of James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North, Mitchell Whitfield, Mikey Kelley, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Chris Evans, Mako, Patrick Stewart, Zhang Ziyi, and Laurence Fishburne.

Backstory

It appears as though the end of 80’s nostalgia has arrived. Those who study those things always said that a return of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would mark the end of 80’s nostalgia, as they were the last big thing from that decade. Throw in the current surge of comic book adaptations, and it seemed as thought the world was primed for a new TMNT movie.

Plot

The Shredder has long been defeated, and the Foot Clan a shadow of its former glory. Without this unifying threat, the Ninja Turtles are a family divided. Leonardo is in Central America, furthering his training, but it’s turned into a self-imposed exile. Raphael has become a masked vigilante called the Nighwatcher, and fights crime in a more brutal fashion. Donatello works tech support, and Michelangelo does kids birthday parties. But Leo soon decides its time to come home, and old sibling rivalries come to a head. But there’s a new evil in town. Industrialist Max Winters and a quartet of stone generals are rounding up 13 monsters to open a doorway to another dimension. Will the Ninja Turtles be able to patch up their differences in time to save the day?

What I Liked

Ever since the first trailer, I’ve been screaming that the Ninja Turtles were MADE for computer animation, and the whole move just continues to prove that. And I’m really glad they went the Batman Begins route. By keeping the well-known arch-enemy out of it, they were able to focus on our heroes and what makes them tick. Plus, the fight scenes kicked ass.

What I Didn’t Like

The animation, while good, wasn’t quite Pixar-perfect. A few superhero movie clichés did rear their ugly heads. And I seem to be the only one that noticed that composer Klaus Badelt recycled a lot of his Catwoman score for this movie. I found it very distracting to hear Catwoman’s theme whenever Raphael was strutting around.

Final Assessment

It was just great seeing the heroes on a half-shell on the big screen again. Bring on our sequel with Shredder!

3 Nibs

Grindhouse

Planet Terror directed by Robert Rodriguiz
Death Proof directed by Quentin Tarintino
Fake trailers directed by Robert Rodriguiz, Rob Zombie, Edgar Wright, and Eli Roth

Planet Terror stars Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguiz, Marley Shelton, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, and Bruce Willis.

Death Proof stars Kurt Russel, Rosario Dawson, Zoë Bell, and Tracie Thoms.

Backstory

Those who know me know that I’m not big on scary movies.  But I had to make an exception for Grindhouse, based on who was making it.  I’m sure you’ve read the history in a dozen other movie reviews by now.  Grindhouses were independent, low-budget inner city movie theatres.  Their bread and butter was double features of low-budget exploitation films.  Grindhouses went the way of the dodo in the mid-1980s, when low-budget exploitation films started going straight to video.  But Quentin Tarintino and Robert Rodriguiz were raised on low-budget exploitation films, and often re-created the grindhouse experience for their friends in their home theatres.  And then, they thought, “Why not re-create it for the whole world?”  Given the growing home theatre market, it looked as though Grindhouse would be a true theatrical experience, something growing increasingly rare these days.

Plot

First up in this double feature is Rodriguiz’s film, Planet Terror.  A mysterious green gas from an abandoned army base soon starts turning a small Texas town into a horde of oozing, festering, cannibalistic zombies.  It’s up to a broad group of survivors – like a one-legged go go dancer, a man with a mysterious past and a deadly accurate aim, and gruff redneck sheriff – to fight their way to a cure and/or survival.

Following some very entertaining fake trailers, we get Tarintino’s film, Death Proof.  Stuntman Mike is a former Hollywood stuntman, with a car that he’s rigged to be death proof.  He goes up and down the highway stalking and then killing young women in horrific car accidents.  But then, he meets his match in a group of stuntwomen off on a road trip.  Who will live and who will die on this highway of death?

What I Liked

I like Tarintino’s film more.  Everyone says it’s slow to get going, but I like the fact that we get a chance to actually get to know our victims.  Makes their death all the more horrific.  The fake trailers in between are amazing.  My favourite there has to be Rob Zombie’s, called Werewolf Women of the SS.  There was even a low-budget ad for the restaurant next door which was great.  And Rodriguiz’s film was so ridiculously over the top that you can’t help but love it.

What I Didn’t Like

OK, I get that part of the Grindhouse experience is a missing reel or a missing scene with the note on the screen saying, “Missing Reel.  With Apologies, the Management.”  But, in Planet Terror, Rodriguiz chooses to have the reel with all the exposition go missing, and it’s annoying as hell!  And Eli Roth’s fake trailer, a slasher film called Thanksgiving, is just disgusting.

Final Assessment

I feel really sad now that I missed the Grindhouse experience.  Or that, because this is tanking, they’re thinking about re-releasing these films separately a few months down the road.  This is truly and definitely a theatrical experience.  See it as quick as you can.

3.5 Nibs