Take This Job and Shove It: Scarecrow Quits Extra Foods

Chaos in Print

So, here it is. Now that I’ve got this new posting to Japan coming up, I turned in my letter of resignation to Extra Foods. My final day was to be May 4. But, lo and behold, as I was walking out the door a week ago, the store manager pulled me aside to have a word with me. See, I was a supervisor. I had access to computers and money and the like. Store manager told me that, since I had just two weeks left, the company was buying out my last two weeks. Apparently, this is store policy, so the person leaving doesn’t try anything vindictive. Two weeks ahead of schedule, I was thrust into the unemployment line. I’m still getting paid for these two weeks. I’ve still got my medical benefits. On paper, my final day is still May 4. But, in reality, EXTRA FOODS IS BEHIND ME!
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Of Playing Cards & Beer Glasses

Chaos in Print

I don’t drink. I don’t play cards. Yet, somehow, I’ve amassed a collection of five beer glasses and three decks of cards. It’s a great testament to the human ability to get stuff. I mean, as I’ve said, I don’t drink, and I don’t play cards. So why do I need these things? Sure, the beer glasses double as great knickknacks. Someday I’m going to have a kitchen and I’ll need some kind of fancy glassware to display on the top shelves. The playing cards have even less purpose. I’ve been known to build a card house or two, and that’s about it. OK, and when I’m home alone, I’ll take the cards, put on a trenchcoat, and run around pretending I’m Gambit from X-Men. They are nothing but potential brick-a-brack and objects of role-play. Why do I hang on to these things, then?
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The Chair

Chaos in Print

It must be at least 10 years since I’ve been to the dentist. What can I say? My teeth don’t hurt, I brush regularly, and I just had a happy little denial going. But then, I got this job to go to Japan. My new company stresses that they don’t have anything in the way of a dental plan, so they recommend that you get your teeth checked out before you go. Now in my final weeks at Extra Foods, I figured that now was as good a time as any to go, mainly because my medical benefits cover the cost of a check-up and cleaning. An enquiry to my childhood dentist about rates quickly turned into setting an appointment, and before I knew it, I was off to the dentist.
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Ink

Chaos in Print

Several of my friends seem to be into body piercing. Chuck has a simple tongue stud. One of my teenage coworkers relished in showing off a belly button stud a few months ago. Whither has a nose piercing, and a few journal entries ago at her website, she mused about getting her eyebrows done. But the queen of all of this has to be L, who has her lip, tongue and nipples pierced. Whenever one of the teenagers at work starts talking about getting some kind of piercing, I just tell them about L, and that seems to make them think twice. On a few occasions, when I really wanted to get the teenagers off of this topic and back on to their work, I’ve given these friends some extra nose rings, belly button studs and, on one occasion, a little something (ahem) down there. But with all this body jewelry surrounding me, I’ve never been tempted to get something for myself. While it looks good on my friends, I’ve never felt that it’s for me. But a tatoo, however, is something I think I could get.
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Crazy Scheme #187: Looking for Buried Treasure

Chaos in Print

As with most members of the human race, I often find myself looking for ways to leave a lasting impression. I strive to do things that are unique that will make people say, “Wow. Mark.” This website grew out of one of those things. And now, as I’m marching towards an uncertain future in another country, I find myself again longing to set up something. I want to establish something in my hometown to leave an impression. Since it’s growing rather late in the year to try and get the county council to build some sort of monument to me, I guess I have to do something on my own. What I am considering is something I read about on the Internet a little over a year ago, and I became enamored with the concept. It felt like the perfect way to honor both myself and the rich natural world that surrounds my hometown. I am, of course, talking about establishing a geocache.
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