Greetings y’all. ‘Tis I, the Scarecrow, coming at you in print once again. Now, I am a person who is all for change and all for things for the better, but I am staring to have my doubts about these new editors of the Dag, or the Rag, or the Tag, or the Bag, or whatever they decide to call it this month. I met the new editors. I speak to the new editors. They are good people. And I will admit that their first issue was pretty good (except for that name thing, which ticked off a few people). But, it was a few weeks later as I was re-reading it and found something that something offended me.
I usually don’t read my own column. I mean, I write it, so I know how it ends, and there is no point in reading it again. But, I picked up the Dag, or the Rag, or the Tag, or the Bag, or whatever they decide to call it this month, and I thought I would read my column. Do you know what these new editors did? They cut out a huge mid-section of my column! I walked into HMV in West Edmonton Mall, and walked out of CompuSmart on the other side of Edmonton! Now, our editors seem to be all behind freedom of speech, but it is conveniently ignored when they use their freedom to edit. Today, it is just some guy’s column. Tomorrow, it could be some expose about how they are spending the Dag’s (or the Rag’s, or the Tag’s, or the Bag’s, or whatever they decide to call it this month) budget on contraband materials. I am all for freedom of speech and freedom of the press, but we must avoid in the future giving positions of power to people who might go mad with it! Are they Brad Goertz and Lukas Warren, or Pinky and the Brain? You be the judge! (In my opinion, they are just a couple of Pinkys, but that’s just me.) Before they so cruelly cut my column, they told me how they feel my columns are too long, so, with that in mind and this off my chest, I will now get to the usual hilarity of my column, while endeavoring to make it as short as possible.
Do you know what I really find fascinating? Women’s underwear. Goodnight, everybody!
Don’t forget, if you didn’t like this column, then you probably won’t like my show Chaos in a Box with the Scarecrow, Wednesdays at 9 on CLCR. And check out my website:
http://www.angelfire.com/hi/chaosinabox. Here, you can read my columns, complete and uncut.
[Last minute note: The editors of the Dag, or the Rag, or the Tag, or the Bag, or whatever they decide to call it this month, have brought to my attention that there was a computer error, and my column was cut accidently. So, some of my allegations may have been a little over the top. But, since they like to throw around that quote by Voltare, here’s another one for them: the price of democracy is eternal vigilance. Oh, and is this cutting edge?]